A little known fact about the United States of America's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, is that he adored puppets more than nearly anything else in the war. In fact, he threw his "Team Jeffrey the Totally Lame Vampire Slayer" shirt to the ground and whipped on his much smaller "Team Jay" shirt because puppets are hardcore.
Despite Jeffrey's lack of presidential praise, the mysterious pie refused to give up on his lifelong idol. He tastily cheered him on by staying in his place and not doing anything. Jeffrey the Totally Lame Vampire Slayer felt motivated instantly and swiftly bludgeoned Jay to his demise.
Blood gushed from every part of his body despite the injury's occurrence being found at Jay's head. Emma Jenna-sen's eyes widened while Aila Excellence gasped. Without further warning than a wink, Abraham Lincoln clapped vigorously and spontaneously combusted into another dimension.
"Well, darn." said Emma Jenna-sen said. "Where did that cult go? Maybe we could get them to bring him back to life." she thought aloud.
"Great idea!" replied Aila and Jeffrey lyrically. Aila Excellence furrowed her brow a bit in thought.
"While we're there, can we get Jay taxidermized?" she asked.
"Sure", decided Emma. "the cult headquarters are next to the taxidermy shop, remember?" she reasoned. "To the unicorn!" they sang cheerfully.
The unicorn arrived from its portal and quacked sadly. Each member of the insanely cool group grabbed a limb and organ from Jay's bloody corpse, jumping into the portal and onto the odd street of magic and illusion they needed.
Hate and anarchy,
Aila Jones
Well, Jay's bloody demise was a bit abrupt. Yet detailed.
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