"So who is the protagonist?", one might ask. "Is it the pie?", yearns another.
These are bad questions. The true question is, "Who or what is the antagonist?" Without further ado, I will describe our adversary with as much pure innocence as I still have. Imagine a boy in an eternal awkward phase, an unhip purple vest, and an oddly positioned leather cape given to him by a schizophrenic hobo. He has wire glasses and Indian parents who call him Jay. Jay's previous crimes had never been as heinous as his latest hatchery: to kidnap and provide an unfulfilling marriage for the highly anticipated heroine! She is Miss Jenna-sen, double spy for Abraham Lincoln and a hairspray company. Though she knew a lot about Jay, she assumed little of him simply because of three "quirks": his ill-fitting purple vest collection, his incapability of beating her in chess, and his quietly sociopathic lifestyle. Surprisingly, Miss Jenna-sen had always had a secret fetish for capes that only a rival hairspray company knows. Somehow, Jay was lucky the day that the old hobo felt pity on him that memorable August day.
The daring and possibly true story of these characters (and more) will be posted soon, so grab your favorite anthropomorphic and animate taxidermized animal, for an adventure starting!
3 AM Cookies and cultish bro-hugs,
Aila Jones
Loving the cultish bro hugs.
ReplyDeleteI...want...to....read.....more!
Suddenly I am filled with the desire to become a schizophrenic hobo.
This is why you should watch Archer.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rvOjTj3jXA
Great stuff. Only changes I'd make are as follows: "his incapability of beating her"--would go with "inability" in place of "incapability" and revise sentence accordingly; then in the third-to-last paragraph, "Somehow, Jay was lucky the day that the old hobo felt pity on him that memorable August day." I'd rephrase to avoid double "day."
ReplyDeleteAlso, not sure it's wise to recommend Archer without a prescription.